How To *Actually* Rest Without Feeling Guilty
+ this week's class: Calm & Release (30 mins)
Hands up: who feels guilty for taking time out?
🙋♀️ Me. Yep, that’s definitely me.
The other day, after an unusually late night filled with a few too many tequila-lime-sodas (date night, hello), I was understandably feeling a bit ragged. And it was a Saturday. But did I allow myself to wallow in my tiredness and give myself the care I needed to feel better without adding a layer of guilt on the top?
I absolutely bloody didn’t.
Because I should be writing, doing, thinking, working. Even on a weekend. I should be being productive at all times or else I’m a fucking lazy loser goblin who needs a good slap and a back-in-my-day lecture.
It can sometimes take a lot of effort for me to unravel those layers of societal expectations (or whatever they are) and allow myself to rest. And I’m in the business of this stuff.
I’m writing this to let you know that you’re not alone in the overwhelming struggle to rest and take time out without feeling bad about it. And also that:
Removing the guilt is important if we actually want to restore and recharge properly and deeply.
And it’s is easier than you think to once you learn how.
Here are 5 tiny tricks to help you remove the rest-guilt (or at least make friends with it):
1. Rename it (and mean it).
When you stop calling it ‘rest’ and instead switch it to ‘recovery’, your brain immediately categorises it as more productive, which calms the guilt loop in your brain.
Takeaway: try renaming ‘rest’ or ‘doing nothing’ as something more vital-sounding (‘regulation’ or ‘maintenance’ also work). You’re not lazy — you’re literally recalibrating your system so it can perform better. We just need to tell our brains that.
2. Give your body the memo.
Your nervous system can’t relax just because you said so — it follows cues, not commands. Send those cues through slow exhalations, gentle movement, or vocalisations (like humming).
That physical message tells your vagus nerve that you’re safe enough to stop being so hyper-vigilant. And this method of stimulating your vagus nerve can be the trigger into down-time that actually makes a difference, rather than watching Netflix with that lack-of-productivity-guilt.
3. Replace guilt with data.
The best way to retrain your guilt response is to prove to your body that rest works. Notice what shifts after five minutes of down-time — your shoulders, your breath, your focus (building your interoception helps with this). How does this affect your work? Your conversations? The way you respond to stress?
These tiny signs of regulation send positive feedback to your brain, weakening the guilt association and strengthening the ‘this is safe and useful’ pathway.
4. Remember your biology, not your to-do list.
Your body is built for oscillation: effort and recovery, like the inhale and exhale of life. You wouldn’t scold your heart for resting between beats, or your muscles for needing oxygen. The same rhythm applies to your day. The rest isn’t a pause in productivity; it’s the part that makes it possible.
Try this reframe the next time you’re feeling bad about a day or an hour to yourself. You’re not AI, my friend. And thank god for that.
5. Ritualise it, don’t schedule it.
Rigid routines can keep your nervous system in performance mode. Rituals — gentle, meaningful patterns — soothe it instead. Whether it’s stretching with your morning coffee, three deep breaths before opening your laptop, or an afternoon walk, your body learns: “Ah, this is when we soften.” Over time, the guilt fades because the ritual becomes part of who you are, not something you have to justify.
If you need a way to to remind your body that rest is productive, necessary, and welcomed, this week’s Calm & Release class is your sign.
It’s floor-based, slow, and soothing — exactly the kind of movement that convinces your nervous system you’re safe to stop pushing for a bit.
Think of it as 30 minutes of charging time for the most important device you own: you.
Not a paying member of Joyful yet?
If you’ve been feeling wired but tired, on-edge, or just not yourself lately — that’s not a character flaw, it’s your nervous system asking for help.
Inside the Joyful membership, we’re learning how to rest without guilt, move without pressure, and feel better without needing to overhaul our entire lives.
It’s science meets softness — movement, mindset, and moments of peace that actually fit into your day.
Join now and get access to award-winning classes (like the one below), mindset tools, and practices to help you live with more ease, more joy, and a lot less guilt.
(Learn more about what the paid subscription involves here.)
This week’s recommended class:
Calm & Release — Floor Flow for Tension (30 mins)
The aim in this session is slow, conscious movement aligned with your breath. This will help you feel grounded, calmer, and more yourself (I promise). Guilt not necessary.
Press play right here on Substack, or find the class inside The Yoga Revolution to favourite for later — links below.