Sure! Correct me if I’m wrong, but it sounds like you’re maybe stuck in the doing and there’s not much feeling going on, Catherine?
For me, joyful things get me into flow-state, or they feel exciting or calming or loving — it’s a feeling more than anything else.
But it’s not always positive stuff all the time — I know I need to keep a tidy home in order to feel calm, I know I need to pay my bills, or service the boiler, or do my tax return… None of which are inherently joyful or positive in any real way, but by doing them I know I have more access to positive stuff in a wider context.
If you learn to feel more (this is the basis of nervous system regulation, known as interoception — I have an article I wrote about this I can share if you’d like), you’ll likely learn which things bring you joy more often. It’s not something to be thought about, but something to physically recognise.
Hope this helps! And keep me posted — I’d love to hear if anything resonates and works for you 🧡
I think that's it, I'm stuck in the never ending “ to do list of chores” and frightened to miss or forget something! I do have a diagnosis of adhd so understanding how I feel and what I want is poor, also influenced by a rendancy for codependancy. I think I need to do some journalling and maybe risk letting some plates fall! X
Journaling sounds good! I also would recommend — to anyone stuck in the chaos of never-enough-time — to bring more presence to every task and see what happens. When we pile tasks on top of each other, and constantly think about the next thing while we doing the current thing, we end up losing our minds. Presence can be an incredible interrupter of that! Although I’m definitely not an ADHD expert, so do what you know and feel to be right.
Thank you for introducing the Joy Audit! I lost my daughter Alix so having joy along with the pain is important. I'm glad your dad can still joke even without words!
Sorry to hear about your loss, Julie. I can’t even begin to imagine. Inspiring that you’re finding joy, despite it, though. Cheers to that 🧡 (and thanks for reading!)
Chloe, this line really struck me today: "Joy’s not just about what lights us up. It’s also about what helps us get there, and what we can soften when it doesn’t." I really appreciate your description of finding joy in small, simple, and ordinary moments. This is something I am learning to do, as well. Really resonated.
What a brilliant way of seeing and arranging our lives! I particularly love how the very act of you sharing this with us gets at a simple truth: Joy shared is doubled! Meaning, it's not just about cultivating that good energy for ourselves, it's also about creating a tidal wave of bliss that positively impacts others, and ripples out from them. I also resonate with finding ways to bring gladness, or at least soften, tasks we don't like. I find reframing things like that to make them about the who I'm doing it for, why it matters, etc., ends up making things like cleaning the toilet joyful ... as does playing and singing to music while I do mundane chores like that.
Love this, Lang, as with all your perspectives on this stuff! Rippling it out to others is a big part — I'm glad you brought it up. Thanks for your words 🧡
Love this Chloe. Such a simple framework. I too know the joy of shared belly laughs at bad dad jokes despite there being very few words in my dad’s vocab these days. That’s the beauty of deeply shared history. 🧡
This is just wonderful, Chloe. While joy is mostly found by settling back into the is-ness of life, there are many ways we can learn to recognise what it means to us and what helps us get ‘there’. Your audit will is such an intuitive and insightful guide for facilitating the conditions for joy. Thank you for this. I’ll be contemplating these questions deeply over the coming hours and days 🙏
Love this, can you give some more examples? Sadly, I'm a bit lost in " have to do" and loose sight of these things that bring joy xx
Sure! Correct me if I’m wrong, but it sounds like you’re maybe stuck in the doing and there’s not much feeling going on, Catherine?
For me, joyful things get me into flow-state, or they feel exciting or calming or loving — it’s a feeling more than anything else.
But it’s not always positive stuff all the time — I know I need to keep a tidy home in order to feel calm, I know I need to pay my bills, or service the boiler, or do my tax return… None of which are inherently joyful or positive in any real way, but by doing them I know I have more access to positive stuff in a wider context.
If you learn to feel more (this is the basis of nervous system regulation, known as interoception — I have an article I wrote about this I can share if you’d like), you’ll likely learn which things bring you joy more often. It’s not something to be thought about, but something to physically recognise.
Hope this helps! And keep me posted — I’d love to hear if anything resonates and works for you 🧡
I think that's it, I'm stuck in the never ending “ to do list of chores” and frightened to miss or forget something! I do have a diagnosis of adhd so understanding how I feel and what I want is poor, also influenced by a rendancy for codependancy. I think I need to do some journalling and maybe risk letting some plates fall! X
Journaling sounds good! I also would recommend — to anyone stuck in the chaos of never-enough-time — to bring more presence to every task and see what happens. When we pile tasks on top of each other, and constantly think about the next thing while we doing the current thing, we end up losing our minds. Presence can be an incredible interrupter of that! Although I’m definitely not an ADHD expert, so do what you know and feel to be right.
I will, thank you 😊
I really enjoyed your article. 😊
Glad to hear it, friend!
Thank you for introducing the Joy Audit! I lost my daughter Alix so having joy along with the pain is important. I'm glad your dad can still joke even without words!
Sorry to hear about your loss, Julie. I can’t even begin to imagine. Inspiring that you’re finding joy, despite it, though. Cheers to that 🧡 (and thanks for reading!)
Thank you for your support for the loss of my daughter. I was happy to read your post about living with joy.
What a great idea! It's so easy to get caught up in life and forget to focus on the things that bring you joy. I'm going to do my audit this week! :)
Love this, Kerry! Hope it brings you some clarity!
Yes, I hope so too! Thanks for the inspiration. :)
Chloe, this line really struck me today: "Joy’s not just about what lights us up. It’s also about what helps us get there, and what we can soften when it doesn’t." I really appreciate your description of finding joy in small, simple, and ordinary moments. This is something I am learning to do, as well. Really resonated.
Ah, I’m chuffed — thanks Jeannie. Glad it landed for you.
Thanks for writing it—it was SO GOOD. So well written. Truly remarkable.
Thank you for this reminder and actionable steps we can take. ❤️
Glad it resonated, Michele 🧡
What a brilliant way of seeing and arranging our lives! I particularly love how the very act of you sharing this with us gets at a simple truth: Joy shared is doubled! Meaning, it's not just about cultivating that good energy for ourselves, it's also about creating a tidal wave of bliss that positively impacts others, and ripples out from them. I also resonate with finding ways to bring gladness, or at least soften, tasks we don't like. I find reframing things like that to make them about the who I'm doing it for, why it matters, etc., ends up making things like cleaning the toilet joyful ... as does playing and singing to music while I do mundane chores like that.
Love this, Lang, as with all your perspectives on this stuff! Rippling it out to others is a big part — I'm glad you brought it up. Thanks for your words 🧡
Oh I love everything about this - thanks for sharing x
Thanks, Kate. I appreciate that. Thanks for reading.
Love this Chloe. Such a simple framework. I too know the joy of shared belly laughs at bad dad jokes despite there being very few words in my dad’s vocab these days. That’s the beauty of deeply shared history. 🧡
Ah, I love that I’m not alone in that! Thanks for your words, Heather 🧡
This is just wonderful, Chloe. While joy is mostly found by settling back into the is-ness of life, there are many ways we can learn to recognise what it means to us and what helps us get ‘there’. Your audit will is such an intuitive and insightful guide for facilitating the conditions for joy. Thank you for this. I’ll be contemplating these questions deeply over the coming hours and days 🙏
Thanks, Paul! This has made my day 😊 I hope you get some goodness from the questions (and let us know what comes up, if you feel like it!).