36 Comments
User's avatar
Ral Joseph's avatar

I feel like I left my body there on the grass while reading this and I was just in the air having fun. Thank you for this so much Chloe.

Common across your work is another definition to a blessing 💗

Expand full comment
Chloe Markham's avatar

Well, this made my week already, Ral. I’m so glad my words landed in this way fo you! Thanks for reading - it’s good to have you here 🧡

Expand full comment
Ral Joseph's avatar

Always Chloe 💗

Expand full comment
Frou McGarey's avatar

This is SO helpful, thank you lovely 🥰

Expand full comment
Chloe Markham's avatar

Glad to hear it, Frou. Thanks for reading 🧡

Expand full comment
Tawnyea Lake, PhD's avatar

“- If you’re buzzing, let it move (expressing).

- If you’re frozen, warm it up (activating).” This is so simple, yet so brilliant, Chloe 🩷

Expand full comment
Chloe Markham's avatar

SO glad you think so, Tawnyea! Thanks for reading 🧡

Expand full comment
Tawnyea Lake, PhD's avatar

I really enjoy reading your work!

Expand full comment
cj's avatar

love the reference of inner “goblin”, it feels primal and humanly easy to relate to. ❤️ thank you for this piece, it’s so true and inspiring

Expand full comment
Chloe Markham's avatar

Ah thanks for this, cj. I appreciate your words, and that’s exactly the mission I’ve got with my writing! Thanks for reading 🧡

Expand full comment
JD's avatar

Really appreciate this piece, and especially highlighting “Somatic work and nervous system regulation—both sides of the same coin—isn’t just about getting calm, this is about moving through the energy you’re feeling.” This ladder you speak of is critical to the overall importance of mindfulness in somatic engagement. Not only as someone living with ptsd, but for anyone this area of work can be beneficial

Expand full comment
Chloe Markham's avatar

Thanks for this, JD. I’m glad it resonated with you!! Thanks for reading 🧡

Expand full comment
Lieke Mulder's avatar

You have a beautiful way of describing the importance of somatic work!

Expand full comment
Chloe Markham's avatar

Thanks so much, Lieke - this means a lot. Thanks for reading 🧡

Expand full comment
Kaz Campbell's avatar

Love this! Thank you 🥰

Expand full comment
Chloe Markham's avatar

So glad it resonated, Kaz! Thanks for reading 🧡

Expand full comment
Matt's avatar

Where does rest play into this? When we are getting overstimulated being on the middle rung burns energy itself (either healthy ways or non healthy ways) then we may fall into the bottom rung afterwards. In my experience rest and NSDR help me go from bottom to top (if I’m interpreting metaphor correctly). Staying off screens if I can. So I can see gentle restorative actions but it still needs to be paired with rest.

Expand full comment
Chloe Markham's avatar

Thanks for this question, Matt! Such a good one.

Rest and NSDR can absolutely be magic for regulation, you're not wrong. But there's a subtlety to the polyvagal ladder that tells us that 'rest' is MORE magic when it happens towards the top—once the stress has been metabolised.

When we're at the bottom, in a state of shutdown, it's not that resting more isn't helpful, but it's that this can often just be inaccessible; it can too-often look like collapse, or dissociated, or numbness instead of quality rest.

Before we can properly benefit from resting, we often just need to activate a little (screens off, gentle movement, a little sunshine, cold water on the face...) in order to move back up the ladder towards ease.

I guess what I'm saying is: rest is 100% part of the regulation puzzle, but it's just not always the first step. Sometimes we need to shake off stress (from the middle), and sometimes we need to coax our system back online (from the bottom) before rest actually feels nourishing rather than heavy.

Love your point about screens too—so often we think we’re resting when we're scrolling, when actually this habit can keep us stuck in dysregulation.

This is why this stuff is so fascinating to me—we’re (hopefully) learning to feel the difference in our own bodies, moment by moment. And this will feel different to you than it does to me.

Thanks again for adding so generously to the convo 🧡

Expand full comment
Matt's avatar

This is interesting idea of a little activation. But for those suffering from extreme PEM or who are bed ridden with long COVID or CFS or whatever other neurological based syndrome … I’m not sure on the activation before rest. Is this coming from a study or from an understanding of neurological states or from your own experience? For those who are so low on the ladder (see Physics Girl on YouTube for example) I’m not sure the activation then rest order makes sense. Maybe it does? Some little injection of positive energy? Not trying to argue just exploring this topic like you as well.

Expand full comment
Chloe Markham's avatar

All this insight is grounded in the science behind polyvagal theory, and I’m drawing from years of hands-on work in nervous system restoration and embodied practice with hundreds of students—including those navigating complex fatigue conditions. Of course, nothing is one-size-fits-all, but yes—even the gentlest micro-activations (like breath, awareness, or blink-sized movement) can be valuable precursors to downshifting into truly restorative states. Hope this helps.

Expand full comment
Sarah's avatar

Love this, thank you for sharing. Bookmarking for future use.

Expand full comment
Chloe Markham's avatar

Thanks for reading, Sarah! Glad you’re here, and I appreciate your words 😊🧡

Expand full comment
Twisted Willow Wellness's avatar

You’ve just cracked open the vault on one of the most under-taught, over-needed parts of being human: nervous system literacy.

We’re out here trying to run full-ass lives on fried circuits, wondering why our guts are a mess, our sleep is garbage, and we cry when the wrong song comes on at the grocery store. (Just me? Cool.) You’ve been taught to override. To suppress. To be “fine.” But what if being not fine is actually the portal to something real? Something sustainable? Something that doesn’t rely on toxic positivity? What a great read thanks for sharing xo Corinne

Expand full comment
Chloe Markham's avatar

Thanks so much for this, Corinne. So glad my words resonated with you, and thanks for yours 🧡

Expand full comment
Nicole's avatar

This was so good - thank you

Expand full comment
Chloe Markham's avatar

Thanks for reading, Nicole. I’m so glad it resonated 🧡

Expand full comment
Amy Thomas-Owen's avatar

This is such a fantastic explanation and break down of nervous system regulation Chloe! 😍 You've made what can be a complicated topic so accessible and understandable 👌

Expand full comment
Chloe Markham's avatar

Thanks so much, Amy! I really appreciate that. And thanks for reading 😊🧡

Expand full comment
jybyky's avatar

Good writing, nervous system, and understanding the awareness of the importance of time. I like this writing.

Expand full comment
Chloe Markham's avatar

Thank you! I really appreciate that, and I’m so glad you liked it 😊 Thanks for reading! 🧡

Expand full comment
BILQIS's avatar

Thank you for this!

We need to get in tune with ourselves particularly through our body.

This comes right when I need it.

Expand full comment
Chloe Markham's avatar

Yes, Bilqis! We sooo need this re-tuning. Thanks for reading - I'm so glad it resonated for you 🧡

Expand full comment
BILQIS's avatar

Yes Chloe!

Expand full comment
Susannah Fishburne's avatar

I'd cheekily suggest your fella relocate. ;)

We live in a rural area and it's my only non-negotiable in terms of our life choices... some of us just need that calmer vibe, I think.

This was another great read, Chloe, thank you so much for sharing it.

Expand full comment
Chloe Markham's avatar

I actually love this suggestion, Suse! But it’s a work thing keeping him there, so I’m engaging with life in a different way and it’s not always a bad thing for me 🫠

Thanks so much for reading, I’m so glad it landed 😊🧡

Expand full comment
Dr. Benjamin Koch's avatar

They taught us how to multiply, memorise capitals, and fold hospital corners. But they never taught us the sacred art of not bracing for impact.

They praised our discipline when we ignored the tightening in our chest. Called it resilience when we powered through nausea, overrode tiredness, or laughed with clenched teeth.

No one said: “That feeling in your gut? That’s not weakness. That’s wisdom.”

It took me decades to realise the answer was never more productivity - It was fluency with myself. The courage to ask: “Am I safe?” And if the answer was no, to not override it.

The real education begins when we stop performing calm and start building safety from the inside out.

The nervous system doesn’t need a manager. It needs a translator. And a little forgiveness for all the years we misunderstood her.

Expand full comment